Been a LONG time

Ok so I haven’t been on here in ages. Life happens. I will try and update more often. Since last August we have moved, husband has gotten a new job, the baby is now one, the girls are growing into OMG “Women”, we are moving again and hopefully for the last time. When I get my internet up at the new house I will be on more and post some new photo’s.

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kids say the darnt’est things

warning!! major rant coming

i tell ya i am on the verge

of a nervous breakdown.

there is so much crap going

on right now in my life

that i swear anything else

happens i will snap.

my marriage sucks to

say the least and that alone

makes everything else suck.

mark and i couldn’t be any more

far apart from each other

even if we were in seperate

countries.  it irritates the

livin crap out of me that

when i try and talk to

him all i get in response is

NOTHING!! absolutely nothing.

the day is usally just fine

until he comes home.  then

you never know what you

will get.  somedays he will just

come home and plant it

on the couch and watch tv

and play around on his

laptop with no speaking

to anyone all night.  those are

the good nights.  other

nights he can come home

and i don’t know where

it comes from but he thinks

he needs to go thru

every single thing in the

house and then come to me

and say, “where does this go? or

“why is this here?”  Well it goes

right where you got it from

and its there because that

is where it goes.  wtf i

keep this house in order

and it is clean and organized.

he works outside the home

so i take care of everything

that has to do with the

house.  i don’t want him

to have to worry about that

along with working.  i also

figure its an even exchange.

he works and i stay home

and raise my 3 daughters

along with our baby and take

care of the house.  i don’t

have an income besides

the child support i receive

for my 3 daughters from

my first marriage.  its not much

but i manage to pay a

few bills and get a meesly

amount of groceries for

a family of 6 every month.

i can’t work because whatever

i would do working would go

right back into daycare for

the 4 kids so what is the

point except maybe sanity

and adult interaction for myself.

but why would i put my needs

in front of my daughters needs

and that is they need their

mother to raise them and

not a daycare center/provider.

and because of the location

of our house in exsistance

with the girls school prevents

me from doing my in-home

daycare because we live

just far enough away to where

its not safe for the girls

to walk the hour to school but

its also not far enough away

for this bass ackwards town

to bus them.  so i spend

my life now taking care of

the house and family and

being a taxi driver to my

children so that they can get

to school safely.  i am not

happy with that at all. 

because my husband makes

me feel daily like i am

a burden to him and his

so called lifestyle.  well

honestly do us all a favor

and leave and take your

negative ass and torture and

demean someone elses life.

im just so sick of the

emotional shit this man has.

he is worse than a woman.

i know things suck, we have no

extra money to do fun things.  we barely

have enough money to

put enough food on the table.

but dont let it beat you down

and ruin your life.  make

the most of what you have.

at least you have that.  there

are others out there that

have less. so i find myself

fortunate.  i dont have fancy

cars, huge homes and shiny

expensive things but i have

my girls and a roof over my

head so what more could i

ask for?  but to him its

never enough.

then last night as i was

outside talking with a neighbor

on the porch with the girls.

a motorcylce goes by our house.

well out of the corner of

my eye i see the lid of

our trashcan fly up in the air

and land right under this

mans front wheel.  he goes

out of control and dumps the

bike.  we run over to see if

he is ok and needs medical

attention.  he refuses all

medical attention and begs

that the cops not be called.

he tells us he is  a first time

rider.  why he said that i am

not sure.  but makes me think

he doesn’t have a license or

maybe no insurance.  he

scratched up his elbow some

so i at least asked if i could get

him a bandage.  he accepted that

and made a phone call.

his girlfriend and her father

show up and he rides off with her

the father rides off on the

motorcycle.  a few hours later

a cop shows up at my door

asking questions and questioning

the fact that the “wind” made

the lid go in the street.  from

the way he was asking over

and over where my kids were

at the time of the accident

leads me to belive this man

had told them one of my

daughters threw the lid into

the street and caused the accident.

bull fucken shit to that.

luckily my neighbor was also

a witness to this and said

the same thing i said.  the girls

were on the porch with us and her

son playing with the baby.  i swear

to god if they try and blame

this on my girls i will crack.  then

the other thing that chaps my

hide on this is go figure

“my husband”.   when it happpened i

told the girls to get mark. 

he comes outside and see’s who

crashed and rolled his eye’s

and went back in the house.

i was like what the fuck.

the least you could do is

help him out.  so i was left to

deal with that and holding a baby

makes it really hard to help

someone out.  then the cop shows

up he answers the door and says

oh i don’t know nothing its all

her.  reason he didn’t help

was because the person that

crashed was a boyfriend of the sister

of a friend of ‘his’ sister that he

doesn’t like and is a looser.

well who the hell cares, your trash

can lid that “I” have been telling you

for months is broken needs replaced

made him crash.  i was so pissed because

this is the shit i have to deal with

with him.

family reunion

saturday we drove up

to balltown, iowa for a

family reunion on my

husbands side of the family.

the drive up was pretty. 

the weather was perfect all

day.  not too hot and just

the perfect breeze.  balltown

reminds me so much of the

town i grew up in as

a child.  small farm town

where everyone knows

everyone.  the food was

catered in by Brietbach’s and

6 months ago i didn’t think

it would be possible.  oldest

bar/resturant burnt down to

the ground.  They rebuilt

and the look is different and

the feel is different, but

the food is still the same.

the kids had a blast playing

with the bean bag toss and

the toss games.  morgan was

a pro by the end of the day.

mark and mike tried

to think they were the

masters but greg and john

kicked thier azzez.

kaity even got in on the fun.

she thought it was for

binkies thought and kept

throwing hers in the hole

and then going after it. 

after the games we just

mingled and enjoyed the day. 

also for the first time she

did not cry when someone picked

her up or tried talking to her.

it was so nice she finally has

gotten out of this stage of

stranger danger.

she played with her aunt jodi,

played with her uncle rod

they both were happy to hold

her for the first time since

she was born and she not cry.

so was i for that matter.

morgan, taylor and emily

were so busy being social that

i didn’t see them at all, all day

long.  i had to keep checking on

them to make sure they were

still there lol. 

i made some scrapbook pages

from my favorite site.  Scrapblog

 

 

family, fair and fun

it seems like its been forever

since i have posted.  things

have been to say the least

absolutely crazy around here.

family had come in from out 

of town for the family

reunion.  it’s now tuesday

and i am finally settling back

into our ”normal” routine.

thursday was spent cleaning

the house and making sure 

things were organized and

in the right places.  i can’t

stand to have a house

full of people and it be

unorganized.  kaity decided

that she was going to help

in the cleaning effort.

 

her methods have yet to

impress me, but she sure

looks darn proud of her

accomplishments.

her toys seem to be

a thing of the past.  she

would rather play with

mommy’s stuff.

she has also started cruising

along furniture now.  pulling

herself up and falling is

always fun.  but even more fun

than that is the standing

up in her bed while she is

supposed to be going down

for a nap.  thing is she

hasn’t learned one very

important thing.  that is

how to sit back down.

so she will stand there

and scream until you lay

her back down.  this can go

on for at least an hour.

then it becomes a game.

“how can i get frustraited with this toothless smile?”

we can’t put her in her

swing anymore because

she has outgrown it.

sad sad day when i went

in to check on her and

there she was sitting up

looking at me.

 after the cleaning and the

napping we decided to

relax at the pool. 

kaity decided to nap again.

taylor decided to continue

giving her mother a heart attack.

luckily emily was alot nicer

to her mother and stayed

in the shallow end playing

with her new goggles.

friday came and we all

went to the fair and the kids

had a blast on the rides

and played some games.

i just hate love those carnival

toys.  its all stuff that

in a few days the dog will

have shredded all over

the floor and look like a

cloud blew up in the house.

kaity has enjoyed the bat

that i am sure by the end

of this week i will have popped.

the bridal shower

whewwwww!!  survived.

decided it would be easier

to spend the weekend down

at mom’s house.  that way all

the cooking could be done

and the food would be fresher

for the bridal shower.

spent friday morning cleaning

my house so i could come

home sunday to a clean

and sparkley house.  so glad

for that.  friday after noon left

with the girls to mom’s.  well

before leaving had to jump

this stupid car again.  so

annoying.  of course

husband/mr. negativity flips out.

why? no clue.  not like he is goin

to be the one to pay

to get it fixed.  its my car

so my responsibilty.  so why

he is so pissy i have no clue.

whatever.  i leave and call

my brother the car doctor.

i always call him when i

have car troubles.  he tells like

it is and knows what the

hell he is talking about.

i give him all the issues i am

having and thank god the

fix is feasable for me.  he suggests

getting a new battary.  well

duh now that i think of it,

i have had this car

for 5 years and i can’t

ever remember buying  a

new battery for it. 

after dropping morgan, taylor

and emily off with nana

so she cold take them

to McDonalds and Tasty Freeze

kaity and i head to

wal-mart.  i hate shopping

there but where else

can i get my battery

replaced by someone

else and get my shopping done

for the bridal shower?

just before i get in there

jamie calls and wants

to meet up after work.

shopping will have to wait.

i get my battery done

just as jamie is leaving work.

we meet at the party supply

store to pick up so

decorations for the party.

then we go over to

target to look for an

outfit.  kaity decides she

needs to fill her pants.

usually not a big deal.

this time it was.  i decided

to not carry the diaper

bag with me because it

would be a fast stop.  i

look outside and see its

pouring so easier to just

buy a case of diapers and wipes

and go to the restroom.

i needed to get those anyway.

little stinker.  jamie couldn’t

find an outfit there and

wanted to go to Kohls

and Gordmans to shop. I hate

shopping in clothing stores. 

plus i had so much to do.

i opt out on that and

she goes on her way and

i go back to shopping

for the bridal shower.

i didn’t get back to my

mom’s house till 9:30

and by that time i was

so tired i didn’t fell like

any cooking so i didn’t.

got up early the next day to

get all the cooking done.

it was crazy, mom helped and

we managed to get it all

done.  we pack up the

kids, cars with food and

off we go to pick up

the cake.  get there a

half hour later than we

wanted and people are already

there?  what the fuck.  it

doesn’t start till 2?  we

scramble and set up.

honestly i was so damn

pissed i couldn’t see straight

if an invitation says 2 don’t

show up at 1.  inconsiderate.

shower turned out great and

the turnout was better

than expected.  wish i would

of  made more food.  but

we had enough.  the girls

were such a huge help with

everything.  i was so proud of

them. kaity fell asleep during

the gift opening so i was

able to take a break and

enjoy myself. 

when it was

over i was relieved.  cleaned up

and jamie decided to take

morgan, taylor and emily home

with her for the night.

wow how nice of her.

kaity and I headed back

to mom’s house and relaxed

for the rest of the night.

all was good till the

husband calls.  “where are you?”

“ahhh, at my mom’s and spending

the night because i am tired.”

apparently he had to work

the next day at 4am. 

(i wasn’t aware of it)  i was

supposed to be there

because brooke is there and

he has no one to watch her.

here is the kicker.  he already

takes her back to her mom’s.

then decides to reem me an

ass.  he had no clue i was

spending the night because

he worked all day and i had

no clue he was working

the next day.  it all sounds

confusing but reason he

was so pissed off is because

his cell was shut off because

he has this issue with paying

his bills.  he had to yell at someone.

luck me, not my problem.

grow up, pay your bills and

start communicating with me

and maybe i’ll be there

at your back en call 24/7.

i know it sounds like i dont

care but its just gotten to

the point i take no more

shit from him or anyone.

whatever.  not going to let

him ruin my night of

relaxing.  spent the night

playing with kaity. 

she was explorying all the new

things at nana’s house

she hasnt seen before and

was on the go up until 10:30pm.

longest she has ever stayed

up.  she went to bed and so

did I.  Day over. zzzzzzzzz

heat has set in

summer finally feels like it

has arrived.  this week

we haven’t really done too

much because its so hot.

the humidity is what

really gets me.  i can take

heat.  thursday already.  i am

dreading my day tomorrow.

shopping, kids, cooking, kids,

baking and more kids. 

to top it off, supposed

to rain all day.  so no

outside for the kids. 

did take the kids to

the pool today seeing as

i was going to be so

busy for the next two days

with the bridal shower.

i am glad we did.  the water

was great and kaity

finally was used to it and

all the people splashing.

we played for an entire

hour in the water.  i wish

i had a waterproof camera

because there were so

many times i wanted to

take a picture.  unfortunately

we had to hit the shade after

that hour because stupid

me forgot the sunblock

on the couch.  so after an

hour in the water she

would need another coat

of sunblock.  so to the

blanket we went while

morgan, taylor

and emily played for the

last hour the pool was open.

after the pool had closed

i wasn’t ready to go home

yet.  i’ll say right now.

i should of went home.

but instead we decided to

go up the street to the

park while kaity napped in

her carseat.

while she napped the girls

played and climbed tree’s.

my little monkey’s.

emily isn’t as agile and

decided to play instead.

smart girl to not give

mom too many heart attacks

in one day.

i love pictures where

they don’t know you are

shooting.  she was in deep

thought there or just staring

at people like she always does.

while there the entire time

it was thundering and getting

pretty dark outside. 

so i figured we had gotten lucky

enough and we should get

everyone rounded up and

head home. 

turn of the key and all

i hear is “click”.  dammit!!!

this car has been acting

up on me for the last week.

i really don’t have money

to be fixing a car right now.

i called mark.  totally inconveniencing

him to get off the couch

and come get me a jump.

glad to know i am

such a pita (pain in the ass).

he finally shows up 30 mins

later from a 5 min drive.  hmmm

told him baby has no

bottle or food left and

we need to get home.

guess that didn’t mean

anything. owell thanks.

it was pretty much a

drive by jumping and he

was off.  shook my head and

headed home myself.

once home kaity got her

bath and a change of

clothes and then she

practiced her new trick.

crawling.  earlier today she

made her first mess in the

bathroom that mommy had

to bust her in the act.

she was so proud of herself.

first messes are always cute.

i am sure next week this

game will get old and i

will have found a way to

block her in just one

room.  crawling is the

best stage a baby goes

thru.  they get go explore.

after we all got changed she

and emily were playing

hide and seek.

gotta love that little face.

weekends are great

weekends are great for everything

and nothing and i believe

we managed all of that on this

weekend.  the weather was

spectacular all weekend so pretty

much anything we wanted

to do we could do it without

getting hot or cold.  saturday

was spent mostly doing

absolutely nothing.  i will say

that is my best task yet.  i actually

got bord and rounded up the

kids and we made tiny treats.

emily had been waiting

all week to do this project.

she found a book at the

library with lots of fun

little treats we can make.

so we decided to make

breakfast food.  out of candy

of course. 

 

emily was on the

little sausages station.  rolling

tootsie rolls over a grater

to make tiny sausages.

actually to be grouse when

they were done they

looked like a pile of guinea

pig turds haha.  but still tasty.

morgan was in charge of egg

whites made out of vanilla

candy melts.  yummy!!

taylor was in charge of the

egg yokes.  course we didn’t

have as many as we

would of liked because

ms. taylor kept eating the m&m’s.

 

so our finished product was

very cute and yummy.  two eggs

sunny side up, two piece’s of

toast (cinnamon toast crunch),

and a slice of fruit (gummy fruit).

oh and can’t forget the side of

guinea pig turds.  haha!!!! sausages.

sunday

sunday started off perfectly. 

i got to sleep in.

how perfect is that.

getting up at 9:30am hasn’t

happened for me in years.

kaity was happy her sister’s

were finally back from thier

visity with thier dad.  she missed

them so much.  i wouldn’t of

thought at 7 months she

would of missed them but

that poor baby just whined

and looked down the hall, in

the kitchen, listened for

them and looked at every

sound.  hoping they would

come around a corner and

play with her.  i try’d to play

with her and entertain her but

she wanted her big sissy’s.

it was sad and cute all in one.

but back to sunday.  i got up

to morgan eating the last

bavarion cream donut. 

little shit is all i got to say

she knows those are mommies

donuts.  so i settled for a

plain ole glazed.  yuck. owell.

then i wanted to clean the

house.  but for that to happen

mark has to get up off

the couch.  he sits i can

not clean.  so i entered the

livingroom and made my

announcement as i shut

the tv off.  lol talk about a

bunch of screaming.  but it

worked.  mark went outside

to do yard work and the

girls and i cleaned the

entire house while kaity took

a long nap.  morgan cracked

me up because she was in the

bathroom cleaning and i

happened to open the door

and all i see is her with her

snorkeling goggles on scrubbing

a toilet.  damn why didn’t i

think to get the camera? 

cleaning was finished and

yard was pretty so i fixed lunch.

aftwards we got ready

and all went to the pool

to swim.  kaity got to try

on her new swim suit.

cute little chunkette. 

taylor decided today would

be the day she went

off the high dive so luckily

mom was smart and

packed the camera.

i didn’t think she would do

it but she did.  talk about

holding my breathe.  i always

get a little nervous when

my baby decides to jump

in water that is 15 feet

deep and she is only

4 foot tall.  but she came

right up and wanted to do

it again.  heartattack #2 to come.

kaity on the other hand

liked the water this time

and i got to actually go

in.  she doesn’t much care for

others splashing her so

today was a great day to

go because there wasn’t

really anyone there.  most

times you are shoulder to

shoulder in the water.  but

with being in the water

alot today it tired the

poor girl out and she

passed out on her walk

around the pool with sissy.

when she woke up we

decided to come on home

because it was getting

chilly with the wind picking up.

once home we started

up the grill and grilled

some hamburgers and hashbrowns

on the grill.  after dinner

brooke arrived for the

week so we all 6 sat and

played a game of skipbo

outside while kaity played

on her blanket in the grass.

that was pretty much our

weekend and i would

say a perfect one at that.

i am going to bed  happy

tonight for the first time

in a very long time. 

playing catch up with time

I am going to try and

catch up on a lot of

missed time and blogs. 

so this could be long. 

with summer at full swing

 its even hard to keep up

myself.  we spend some

days at the pool enjoying

the sun.  the girls had a blast. 

figured this year we should

just get them a pass so they

can go whenever they want. 

that was a great idea. 

kaity doesn’t much care

for the colder than her

bathtub water but loves

to watch all the people. 

so we sit on our blanket and

people watch.  that in itself

can be more fun than the

actual proposed activity. 

other days we go to the library. 

usually when the weather isn’t

the greatest.  the kids

are in a reading program

this summer.  it has

helped so much with emily

and her reading.  she has

moved up a level and doing

great.  her teachers will

be proud of her hard work

this summer.  she reads

all the time and even kaity

has gotten into the program. 

they have completed the

reading program and got

a free pass to attend the

catch the reading bug

pool party.  they cant wait. 

the girls were also excited

to hear their dad was

coming for a week to visit

them.  during that time it

was morgan’s 11th birthday. 

i can’t believe i am the

mother to an 11 year old. 

sometimes i sit back and

wonder where the time has gone. 

your children grow up

way too fast.  her dad

took her shopping in galena, il. 

a very cute little storybook

town that has tiny shops,

cobblestone streets and

ice cream parlors.  it’s

almost a little chunk of

italy in the middle of the midwest. 

she walked thru the shops

in search of only one thing. 

webkinz.  this child is addicted

to webkinz.  her collection has

now grown to 11 to match

her age.  i joined them at

the park to get some

needed pictures.  it had been

awhile so i just had to. 

i got a great picture of

all the girls and myself. 

those are rare pictures

since i am the one usually

taking all the photo’s. 

on wednesday i decided

to visit my sister in durant, ia

and help her with the

wedding invitations.  300

invitaions and 5 hours

later with a very sore back

and crossed eye’s we were finished. 

closing that post office

box for the last invitation

was the greatest feeling ever. 

the last big task before

the big day.  i am so happy

for my sister that so far so

good things have gone smoothly. 

afterwards we enjoyed a very

needed beer.  when i was done

there i decided to go to

my mom and dad’s and

spend the night before i

headed back north toward

home.  papa actually got to hold

kaity and she didn’t cry.

the girls were with

thier dad and all i had

was little kaity so why not. 

i kinda wish i didn’t

sometimes because i

slept awful.  tossed

and turned all night.  wished

i had my medicine for my

back because it was killing

me.  by 5 am i gave up and

just got up and got some

coffee.  i actually felt

better being up that on

that hard couch.  i spent

the morning playing with

some photo’s i had taken

the night before at my sister’s. 

she bought kaity a little dress

for the wedding and i got

the best shot of ms. kaity

wearing it.  it turned out so

good i decided to get it

developed at Wal-Greens photo. 

when i went to pick it up they

insisted it was a professional

picture that i was coping and

 

wouldn’t let me have it. 

luckily i figured this would

happen so i had the original

also printed out by them

 

and told them to look

at the original and the

new one and see it wasn’t

professional.  after looking

and making me sign a

copyright form they let

me have the pictures.  idiots. 

that is the 4th time

i have had to sign a

form stating i am not

coping professoinal

pictures.  now i know i am

not a great photographer

but they are making my

head get really fat.  imaging

software is the greatest thing. 

photography is a hobby of mine. 

it almost lets me express

more than i could with

just words.  its theriputic

for me to capture moments

in time and keep them

forever.  i would give

anything to be able to

do it as a profession

some day.  have my

own studio.  that

would be awsome. 

but i have tons more

to learn first. 

the 4th of july was fun

but not as fun as past years. 

we stayed in town and

watched the fire works. 

the airshow was neat to

see that was different

than every year before.  kaity of

course didn’t like the

crowds and all the people

so she cry’d and cried. 

once i got her off by ourselves 

and calmed her down and

let her ease herself into

the situatoin she was ok. 

as long as no one came to

talk to her.  she did great

during the fireworks. 

just before they started she

had fallen asleep so i was

scared she was going to

get startled and cry but she

actually just woke up and

watched in amazement

the whole time. 

we left there and spent the next day

just relaxing around the house. 

something we hadn’t done in a while. 

we played outside and swang

on the little swing. 

we decided later to go to

the park and i wanted to

take some pictures.  as we

were sitting at the table a squirrel

decided he was curious as to

what we were up to and came

so close i could get reflection

in his eyes from my flash. 

i was almost a little scared

he would bite me he was so

close.  friendly little guy. 

then kaity just looked like

she needed to be photographed

again for the hundreth time

that day so i took some of her too. 

daddy just rolls his eyes and

puts up with it as i do my thing. 

he is so understanding. 

finally i think we are

caught up to today.